1. Wealth creation
The main purpose in life is to accumulate as much capital as possible. The rewards of wealth creation include high status and well-deserved material benefits. True capitalists may even aspire to own a luxury yacht as a status symbol.
2. The family dynasty
Succession planning is essential for true capitalists. Their children should enjoy the benefits and privileges of immense wealth from birth. The establishment of such a family dynasty is perhaps the supreme goal of true capitalists.
3. Taxes
The successful establishment of a family dynasty requires careful attention to the payment of inheritance taxes. True capitalists have a deep understanding of all the ways and means of avoiding paying any tax at all. Only losers pay taxes!
4. The working classes
The working classes are clearly subservient to true capitalists. Their role is to serve! The purpose of these workers, or of the riches of the natural environment, is to create wealth for true capitalists. This is obvious since they own all the shares in the mines and the land they are on.
5. Property ownership
True capitalists should strive to own as many properties and as much land as possible. Investment properties are most desirable as average rents continue to climb relentlessly. Land values also increase nicely. The property market is designed to favour the wealthy.
6. The share market
The share market is, of course, the primary tool for wealth creation. For true capitalists, if insider knowledge is not obtainable, it is probably best to follow the tips of a stock market “guru”. These are often very rich individuals who have access to knowledge not available to ordinary mortals.
7. Cryptocurrencies
All cryptocurrencies rely on the technology of blockchains (whatever that actually means!). True capitalists can exploit these in two ways:
a. To hide or “clean” funds that have been obtained from dubious (probably illegal) sources.
b. As a speculative investment. If hints are put out of “substantial profits to be made”, fools are sure to rush in – they are ripe to be fleeced!
8. Tech bros
This comprises that small band of billionaires (at least on paper) who have set up innovative companies on the internet which are worth zillions after a successful IPO. True capitalists can share in the spoils by investing in the initial IPO, then disseminating hype about the shares being “massively undervalued”. Then, at the right time, unload the shares at a highly inflated price!
9. Killing competition
The standard procedure is to buy out competing companies until a monopoly on the products or services provided is attained. The resulting megacompany can then set its own prices. This maximises shareholder returns for true capitalists.
10. Lobbying power
Governments should be both the servants and protectors of true capitalists. This requires powerful lobbying groups to be set up to keep the governing party in line. Business rules, okay?
Conclusion
In conclusion, may true capitalists and their children, remain happy, safe and comfortable in their luxury mansions forever.
