The Last Dance, Sunderland ’Til I Die, Drive to Survive, The Test
Starring: Michael Jordan, Sunderland AFC, Formula 1, The Australian cricket team …
Genre: Self-aggrandising, self-loathing, self-mocking …
In this weird sports-free world, sports junkies such as yours truly are looking far and wide for their fix. Replays of old matches provide no suspense or thrill, so desperate times call for desperate measures. Bring on the sports documentary series, a relatively new phenomenon tailor made for the pay-per-view generation.
There is nothing new about sports docos, but at a time when most people aren’t getting out much, the traditional 90-minute sports star exposé doesn’t suffice. This long format documentary allows for more personalities and detail, and a more in-depth voyeuristic look at goings-on. But the basic prerequisites, a good story and interesting characters, is even more important. And that’s where the most hyped of all the sports doco series, The Last Dance, fails.
There is no denying that Michael Jordan is a freakishly talented and driven athlete. But the story of his journey from the middle class of Brooklyn to extreme wealth and success is not nearly as interesting or relatable as a cricket team overcoming a cheating scandal (The Test), car racers risking their lives for their careers (Drive to Survive) or a soccer team struggling just to win a match (Sunderland ’Til I Die).
Indeed, Sunderland ’Til I Die is not really about the soccer team at all but the ridiculously fanatical and obsessive supporters riding the emotions of their team’s failures and very rare successes. The series is more symbolic social commentary about the demise of the British working class and the collapse of industry in Northern England than it is the plight of a team of multimillionaire players, coaches, managers and owners.
The Last Dance, The Test, and Drive to Survive are no deeper than the grooves on a ball or a car’s tyre. There is nothing that these alpha-male (and they are always male), supremely-fit, amazingly talented athletes have in common with the vast majority of humanity.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to death ride a high performer and watch them fail, but if you want to vicariously live through someone and hope they succeed, then have children.
Ratings
Sunderland ’Til I Die: 4½ wins a season
Drive to Survive: 3½ hundred kilometres per hour
The Test: 3 hundred more runs from Steve Smith
The Last Dance: 2½ metres tall
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