To say that Batman v Superman exceeded my expectations is not saying much given that my expectations were further underground than the bat cave. Make no mistake, Batman v Superman is a truly bad film on so many levels. But my expectations being exceeded mean that it wasn’t so awful as to be worth watching, which is why I watched it in the first place in an odd hypocritical kind of way. It’s a fine line, but one where films like Showgirls (1995) and Battlefield Earth (2000) achieved their cult status.
It’s difficult to know where to begin because so much of Batman v Superman deserves scorn. So I’m going to use dot points in a film critic first:
- The bucket schmaltzy feebleness of Henry Cavill’s Superman, who spends most of his time rescuing Lois Lane and emoting;
- Batman’s ridiculous iron suit that even Ned Kelly wouldn’t look iconic in and Iron Man would LOL;
- Lex Luthor’s incongruous evil monster that Peter Jackson should be suing for copyright infringements given it’s remarkable similarity to everything evil in Lord of the Rings;
- The token inclusion of Wonder Woman who could almost have been an afterthought except that the whole purpose of the film is to launch DC Comics’ feeble late entry into the Superhero collective with its Justice League franchise.
And much, much more.
It’s not all bad. Ben Affleck isn’t the worst Batman (hello George Clooney) and much of the Batman vibe (gadgets, cars, Alfred, etc.) has its moments.
But do we really need all these sequels?: Suicide Squad (2016), The Justice League Part One (2017), Untitled Batman Reboot, Justice League Part Two (2019), and possibly two sequels to the Untitled Batman Reboot?
Lex Luthor couldn’t kill Batman or Superman. But Deadpool (2016) quite possibly did.
Rating: Half of not much.
