Do we all remember the pink Batgirl T-shirt that sent online community groups into a tailspin? I was deep in debates with other mums on those groups. The T-shirt read: “Batgirl To-Do List: Dry-clean Cape; Wash Batmobile; Fight Crime; Save the World.” Cute, right?
They made a special pink shirt for the girl who likes Batgirl. A decade ago, I would have agreed. It’s a T-shirt, it’s harmless, what’s the big deal?
I have to admit when it comes to progressive issues like feminism, sexism, racism: once you see the issue, and I mean really see it, and understand it, it cannot be unseen. And then you start to see it everywhere, and you wonder why you had never seen it before, and you can’t comprehend how no one else is seeing it.
When I entered into these debates I was angry, before I remembered that I used to be this person who told people to get a sense of humour and not take life so seriously. I recalled Nelson Mandela when he said, “Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world.” I think of this every time I dive into the comments section.
The comments at first were seemingly innocent: “Nothing wrong with it in my opinion”; “I think it’s great and funny”; “Go Batgirl. Independence!”; “Where’s your sense of humour?”
Then some common sense chimed in: “I think the point is that they wouldn’t make a Superman or Batman shirt that said cleaning and washing came before fighting crime.”
This is exactly the point. This is the adult take on it. But how do children view it? What do they take from a seemingly harmless line of words?
We all know boys and girls are biologically different but there are environmental and social influences at play. We don’t see this wording on boys clothing as it’s just an assumption that domestic chores are assigned to the girl. I know this isn’t true in adulthood, in fairness, my husband does more than his fair share of the domestic chores, but that’s not the point being made here; this is about messaging to the kids, and it’s so ingrained in adults we don’t even notice it unless someone asks us to question the validity.
One response to that previous comment is a key component here: “Perhaps it’s also in your interpretation. I read it as, ‘I can look after myself and save the world’.”
Interpretation. This is key.
We, as adults, have the ability to apply interpretation to every part of our lives. Children do not have this ability. It is a learned behaviour, and who do they learn it from? Parents, teachers, schools, the playground, while shopping, advertising, community, family structure, society, pop music/videos, marketing, TV shows, the list is endless.
In reinforcing gender stereotypes, we entrench inequality, which can be connected to domestic violence. As former South Australian Young Australian of the Year, Arman Abrahimzadeh, said, “While not all intimate partner disrespect ends in murder, all domestic violence murders start with disrespect.” And disrespect comes from a power imbalance and a power imbalance happens when we don’t have equality.
_______________
This is an edited excerpt from a presentation given at the Stop Domestic Violence Conference held in Brisbane, 2016, titled, “The role of parents and social media in perpetuating the myths surrounding DV: How parents can help to alter the perception of gender stereotyping and how the gender imbalance carries into our justice system for crimes against women.”
