Sincere Apologies
Writers: Dan Koop, Jamie Lewis, David Williams
Seagull Room, Bondi Pavilion
July 10-12, 2025
The expressions of regret in Alternative Facts’ production of Sincere Apologies cover a wide spectrum of human activity, from everyday domestic mishaps to very serious world-wide problems. They reveal human nature in its most ironical, sometimes self-deluded, and occasionally humorous guise. All in all, it is an interesting, entertaining and thought-provoking compilation.
The show is completely interactive. The 50 apologies are printed and distributed to willing audience members, who seem to relish stepping up to the mike to read their designated pieces.
The dates of the apologies are meticulously noted and cover quite mundane items through to dire earth-threatening events. There are the usual slightly tiresome celebrity gaffes: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard apologising for breaching Australian quarantine laws, Kanye West’s breath-taking snatching of the award from Taylor Swift, and Tiger Woods regretting his marital infidelity, all of which are not too disquieting. Sporting matters of course, get a look in, with the execrable racial treatment of Adam Goodes and the scandal of the cricket ball-tampering episode.
The politicians and radio presenters, however, do make some weighty contributions: Alan Jones needing to apologise to Julia Gillard for a supremely insensitive comment at a time of bereavement, Kevin Rudd at last saying “sorry” to First Nations people, and the unhappy Tampa refugee affair.
On a lighter note, we can all relate to the mind-numbingly tedious apologies delivered by airlines and government departments: Virgin announcing flight delays, and the interminable telephonic merry-go-round while waiting fruitlessly to communicate with Centrelink. To add further effervescence, the writers interlard a few of their own personal dramas – crashing mum’s car when you’re a teenager, missing an anniversary, and a KFC apology for running out of fresh chicken. At one point the grey fantail is allowed to sing its melodious song, adding a touch more sweetness and light.
All this contrasts with the truly unspeakable events for which there can be no acceptable apology: the environmental ravaging caused by the Deepwater oil spill, the Fukushima nuclear accident, Rio Tinto’s blasting of ancient Aboriginal sites – how can any apology suffice in the face of such monumental destruction?
The last apology is a chillingly predictive one and set in the future: in 2045 the environmental minister announces the death of the last koala – it’s a prediction we hope will never come to pass but should be an unthinkable possibility always to be borne in mind.
A short run for this production, but it is nevertheless thought-provoking while remaining entertaining as well. As such it would be well worth a watch should it be considered for a return run at some future stage.
