Was the imagery different? It should be. It shifts the focus of the violence from the woman onto the man who is actually perpetrating it; those are the people we should be holding accountable. However, it’s our everyday language use which is far more pervasive and insidious.
Just the other day I was called a “good girl”. A “good girl”! I am a 37-year-old woman, I work two crazy jobs and have three excellent young children. This word wasn’t used in a “night out with the girls” kind of way, it was said by an older white man in a position of power and influence. With those two words I was infantilised and my achievements minimised. If I switched genders and called him a “good boy”, it would take all my effort not to pat him on the head like my family dog. Why? Because it’s ridiculous being called a child-like pet name when you’re an adult.
It’s important to note that the intention of the person saying “good girl” was not malicious or intent on belittling me, but that’s the point, isn’t it? It’s so ingrained, so normal that even the nicest, most caring person uses language that has, for hundreds of years, belittled women.
So why do we still do it? (I would be remiss not to say that I catch myself using language that needs correcting.)
Is it because the role of a woman still takes a back seat? Though we have the vote we’re still campaigning for actual equality. It just so happens that the most powerful weapon we have – our words – is still being used, with subtlety, as a way of saying “you’re not worth it”.
Women Dead in November: 2
Women Dead in 2017 so far: 41
