Do you often have trouble “adulting”? Heaven knows, I do. This month’s column is a reassuring reminder, going out to everyone who struggles with the endless, merciless administrative demands of the modern world.
The term adulting was first used in 1929 by J.H. Doyle, and then briefly in the 1980s as a jocular verb form of adultery, but it has really come into its own in recent decades, especially among millennials on the internet. It still has a jocular aspect, but now we joke darkly about the difficulties of modern survival and keeping our little worlds running.
Unsurprisingly, that tracks with the frenetic, 21st-century growth of general bureaucratic obligation among western populations, as more and more people grapple with more and more inflexible government regulations, an overloaded justice system, easier purchasing paths, the constant bombardment of advertising in an increasingly treacherous economic landscape, complex literacy requirements, growing documentation demands, diverse claims on time, energy, bandwidth and brainpower, from the burdens of compliance to the cost of service fees, late fees, delivery fees, insurance fees – indeed, the entire, monstrous cost of living in an overblown capitalist democracy.
Some lucky few of us have all the resources we need – but the fact is, the vast majority of people struggle one way or another, or several. Our society dwells obsessively on the hero’s journey for the simple reason that so few of us get to live lives that feel in any way heroic – we’re flat out putting food on the table, staying out of trouble and, if we’re lucky, having a little fun and maybe ending up with a not-too-wretched old age. Heroic? It’s fundamental to the hero’s journey that it culminates in glory, proving it can be done – but not by most of us. We’re reduced to counting simple survival as heroic – and all too often, it truly is.
If you are afflicted by trauma, or suffering one or more mental health conditions from the “Western disease paradigm” – if you are depressed, anxious or bipolar, have ADHD, autism or schizophrenia – you are likely to have problems with executive function. Executive function is a set of cognitive skills and mental processes that enable us to set goals and get things done – plan, regulate emotions, monitor progress and solve problems. In other words, they help you adult. The internet will tell you that executive functioning skills can be improved by consistent practice and monitoring – and of course they can.
But I want to tell you that if consistent practice is beyond you just now, start by spending regular time walking among trees and breathing fresh air.
