“I’m obsessed with One Direction.” “I’m obsessed with Game of Thrones.” Following a band, buying their merchandise, binge-watching a TV series. That’s not OCD either.
Most of us have some fears with a semi-rational basis: “Have I locked the house?” “Have I turned the oven off?” Maybe you have a little ritual to decrease your anxiety, like checking the lock twice to satisfy yourself that it has been done. This isn’t OCD either.
If the thoughts (obsessions) keep coming back again and again and again like a broken record, if they intrude on your regular thinking and seem to be stuck in your brain, then we are entering into OCD territory. Some common obsessional themes that people with OCD report are: fears about germs, fears of somehow causing harm to others, fears of terrible fates befalling loved ones and distressing sexual images appearing unbidden in one’s thoughts. It’s awful. And here’s where the compulsions come into play.
What if you could develop a way of lessening your distress and anxiety – say, by repeating certain words, writing a list or developing some other ritual to directly counteract the fear. Maybe washing your hands again and again to stop the germ fear, maybe checking again and again that you haven’t caused an accident, maybe reciting a saying to counteract that awful recurring sexual image. The rituals will probably give you some temporary relief, but the obsessions will always return and compel you to act out the rituals again. Rituals often get in the way of life. Constant hand washing may cause dermatitis, fear of intrusive sexual images may lead to social avoidance, repetitive checking may mean you can’t get out of the house in time for work or maybe you can’t ever get out of your home.
This is OCD. And it is exhausting.
OCD sufferers often know their thinking is irrational and they don’t really want to do the rituals, but the anxiety that results from not doing them (or even thinking about not doing them) is overwhelming.
Like other mental illnesses, there is a lot of misunderstanding and stigma surrounding OCD so most people suffer in silence. It is also very difficult for loved ones of OCD sufferers to know what to do. The use of rational arguments – “But sweetheart you’ve already checked the locks, we both know the door is locked” – doesn’t work. But then, allowing or encouraging the OCD sufferer in their compulsions also doesn’t help. In fact, it reinforces the whole vicious cycle.
If someone you love has OCD the best things you can do are (a) try to be understanding of your loved one’s distress and (b) get them to professional treatment. OCD is treatable, and is one of the mental illnesses where psychological treatment is absolutely necessary. Medication may help relieve the depression and anxiety that accompany OCD, but it is not the sole focus of treatment.
