Language matters when it comes to suicide

Suicide is heartbreakingly common in Australia and the world. In this country, more than 2,500 people take their own lives each year. This is more than double the national road toll. Suicide costs the community dearly – emotionally, socially and economically – and causes immense personal grief and loss.

Suicide Prevention Australia (SPA) members and colleagues are dedicated to working collaboratively to develop a community that knows how to ask for help and how to give help. A big part of this is encouraging conversation about suicide — in a safe and supported way. There are some great online tools to help with this such as R U OK? conversation resources and the Conversations Matter website.

What’s one simple thing you can do to help create a supportive environment?

Stop using the phrase “committed suicide”.

Evidence shows that this phrase works against changing behaviours and attitudes related to mental illness and suicide prevention. Many people in our national Lived Experience Network (LEN), a group of people who have been touched by suicide, have told us that, the use of this phrase can be traumatising, putting already vulnerable people at further risk of suicide. It can also reinforce stigma and reduce their willingness to reach out for help.

So, you’re thinking: Everyone says it. What’s the problem with using it?

When I started work at SPA, I used to use the phrase too — so I asked the same question. Just one conversation about why I shouldn’t use it meant I never did again. You may feel the same after I share what I’ve heard from people who’ve lost someone to suicide, have attempted to take their own life, are caring for someone with suicidal behaviour or are affected by suicide in some other way.

“My son is not a criminal.”

At the beginning of the 19th century, most countries around the world punished and imprisoned people who attempted suicide. However, in the last 50 years most, but not all, countries have decriminalised suicide.

In Australia, while it may not be illegal to take your own life, the term is used in association with crimes. They committed a murder. They committed rape. Imagine this was your son or daughter or your friend or colleague. Imagine this was you.

People from our LEN tell us that when they attempted or were thinking about suicide, they did not want to die. They just wanted the pain to stop. They thought suicide was their only option. These people are not criminals. In life and in death, they deserve our compassion.

“I feel ashamed and see the judgment in their eyes.”

Religion and connection to a faith-based organisation or community is proven to be a protective factor for suicide. However, some people in our LEN from a number of religious and cultural backgrounds have told us of the struggle they have in their community to stand up and speak about tough times. Real or perceived judgment can have a negative impact on their willingness to seek help.

Imagine if your loved one took their own life and your congregation, your primary support network, was reluctant to acknowledge how they died? Would you feel comfortable talking about how you’re feeling? How conflicted would you feel mourning your loved one knowing that you are surrounded by a sense of disapproval or shame?

So what language is helpful?

To promote a positive shift in the terminology used to discuss suicide, use the short guide (below) along with the resources noted at the start of the article. It seems simple but it will make such a meaningful difference if we all pause and consider our language when talking about suicide.

Table taken from “Suicide and language: Why we shouldn’t use the ‘C’ word”, by Susan Beaton, Dr Peter Forster and Dr Myf Maple. Published in InPsych, February 2013, and available online.