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“It wasn’t until it happened to us that we realised what was really happening, what had been happening all along,” my friend, Mary [not her real name], says. It is mid-afternoon on a cold Saturday in Sydney. We’re sitting in Mary and her husband’s hotel room. They both look drawn and tired. At first I thought it was the weather, after all, they live in Fiji, where the seasons are split into “Hot and Humid” and “Hot and Raining”. The chilly autumn air here in Sydney wasn’t something they were used to.